The Gateway to Hyrule
by Amanda dragon
Summary: I am rubbish at summaries... A hyper girl and dumb boy find a way into hyrule and wreck havoc! on hold till october
1. In the Beginning

Amanda dragon- FANFICTIONS!!! Bob- WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Amanda dragon- WOOOOOOOO!! (Faints with excitement) This is my first one so please be gentle.... (I don't own the Nintendo characters or places)  
  
Chapter one – In the beginning  
  
It was an ordinary boring old school day for Amy. She had a violin lesson and the teacher would probably go insane after hearing her atrocious playing. She was waiting outside the door dreading the moment when the violin tutor arrived. Amy saw the lady walking slowly along the corridor until the fire alarm rang. Amy ran past the violin teacher and to the doors which were open. She walked to the front of the school to see which part of it was on fire.  
  
She then spotted a meteor or something similar shoot along the sky. It landed in the playground. "Ha! That could be worth hundreds if I nab it first!" she thought to herself. She rushed to it, knocking a few first years down and crashing into a teacher. She arrived at the hole. Amy glanced down and saw a blue shiny thing. As she was on a sugar high, she climbed down and grabbed the thing. It was a mask. There was a brown one underneath. Amy looked at the one in her hands. It was the mask of a zora, easily told by the huge black eyes and blue skin. Recalling that Link in Majora's mask put it on and turned into a zora she followed suit before chucking the other mask to the boy looking down at her. Then she fell asleep.  
  
The boy who was looking down at her as she fell asleep picked up the mask. He was Owen, a fellow S2 who was in Amy's class. He remembered Amy fainting and that he had P.E. next. He thought about this. P.E. and Owen don't mix but P.E and Owen putting on mask and fainting did. He instantly shoved the mask onto his face and fainted.  
  
Amy awoke in a desert. She knew this because of the sand which covered half of her blue body...blue? She looked at herself, screamed and ran into the distance and crashed into a man wearing a green tunic...Link!! She still had her schoolbag and grabbed out her blank jotter and used it as a substitute autograph book. "Can you sign this?! Please please please please please ..."Amy asked in all of her hyperness until Link butted in. 

"You can quit with all of the pleas, you only have to say it once!"

"Please?"

"Very good. Yes I will but I need a pen."

"I don't have a pen..."

"Well how do you expect me to sign it? With my spit?!"

"Uh...OK!"

"I was only joking." 

"Oh..."

"Why are you in the middle of a desert? Zoras are supposed to stay in water!"

"Am I a zora?" 

"Yes!" 

"Well I didn't..." Amy began but was interrupted by someone yelling a few meters away. It was Owen yelling about how the Goron body has ruined his good looks. "Don't bother about him, just ignore him."

"What is your name?"

"Amy, and my idiotic companion..." she made a gesture towards Owen who was trying to slap the Goron body off, "is Owen."

"I am Link." 

"Good to hear that."  
  
Suddenly a huge monster burst out of the sand and roared. It glared at the small pathetic group in front of it and grinned. It bared its fangs and threw itself at the group.  
  
How do you like it!? I know it is stupid but if I get one review I'll continue. WOOOOOOOOO!!! Don't be too harsh in your reviews (if I receive any!) I shall try to make the next chapter better! Sugar good!!! 


	2. Annoying Navi

Amanda dragon- Thanks for your review Lexial147. She knows who she is. Some of this chapter was inspired by her!! Bob- WOOO!! Please R & R (I don't own the Nintendo characters or places)  
  
Chapter 2- Annoying Navi  
  
Amy turned around to see a huge monster looming down on her. She glanced at Link. He hadn't noticed a thing. She did the bravest thing possible- hide like a wuss behind Owen. "Hey Amy!" he shouted, noticing the cringing zora hiding behind him. "You better get off or I'll..." he began but started whimpering at the sight of the huge snake in front of him. "Ah...I see..." Owen said, backing away from Link who still hadn't noticed the monstrosity behind him.  
  
"Guys we better get going!" Link shouted. Then he realised that no one was standing next to him. "Stop fooling around." He said, turning around to see the huge snake hissing at him. Amy and Owen crept up next to him. "That's where you were! Now, we need to attack this thing. Amy you go to the left and...huh?" Link started, but noticed that Amy and Owen were gone with the wind. "Thanks for the help." he muttered.  
  
A small, white, glowing thing flew out of his green tunic. "Stop fooling around! Follow me!" it said in a high, squeaky voice.  
  
"I am not fooling around! Whenever you say 'follow me' you are following me so I just end up running around in a circle! I don't need you!" Link shouted at the thing, which was now circling Link's head like an annoying fly. Link swatted it away.  
  
"Hey!" it complained.  
  
Amy walked up behind Link again. "If you don't want that annoying fairy thing, can I have it?" she asked politely.  
  
"How dare you say I am an annoying fairy thing! That's insulting!! I am the great, almighty Navi!!!" it roared.  
  
"But you're still going in my autograph book of wisdom." Amy said quickly.  
  
"Huh?" it said before being crushed into a tiny autograph book.  
  
"If you won't sign it with spit, Navi will be your signature." She stated before stuffing the book into her bag.  
  
Link looked as if he was about to cry. Then he got down on his knees and started praising Amy. "Thank you so much! She has been bothering me for years! I can never thank you enough!" he said happily.  
  
Owen was completely unaware of the strange events which had just happened because he was too busy throwing grains of sand at...uh...grains of sand. He then looked up and saw Link praising Amy. He was confused. If Link is over there with Amy and no snake then Owen was over here with...a snake! He screamed like a 2 year old and started throwing grains of sand at it. The snake edged closer.  
  
Link noticed the trouble that Owen was in and called Amy to help with the situation.  
  
"Ok...no...wait. I can't be bothered! You go on ahead!" Amy yelled.  
  
"Huh?" Link looked around and saw Amy sitting on a deckchair with popcorn. "Where did you..." he began but was interrupted by the snake which had flung itself onto Link. It opened its mouth wide and prepared to bite down on Link's unprotected head.  
  
Amanda dragon- How do you like it (if you even want to read this!)? Bob- WOOOOO!!! Amanda dragon- Whatever...Anyways, even if you don't like this I am putting the next chapter up soon! Ha! Lol! 


	3. Avenging the Autograph Book

Amanda dragon- I am getting reviews!!! I feel loved!!

Bob- This story is pretty naff...

Amanda dragon- You shall not discourage me!! Please R & R!! (I don't own the Nintendo characters or places)  
  
Chapter 3- Avenging the Autograph Book  
  
The snake was about to bite down on Link. There were strange noises coming from Amy's bag. Navi suddenly ripped up the bag and its contents. It flew towards the snake in a red light. Surprisingly, the snake vanished into thin air and Navi shot towards Amy. Link backed away. "HOW DARE YOU HUMILIATE MOI!! YOU, ZORA GIRL SHALL SUFFER!!!!!!" it roared (I refer to Navi as it although it is a girl, well, I think it is). Navi charged into Amy's face and Amy swatted it away. "AHH!!" it cried as it crashed into the sand. Owen immediately buried it.  
  
"What was that for!?" Amy asked in confusion.  
  
"Dunno." Owen replied.  
  
"But I wanted it for my autograph book!"  
  
"Tough."  
  
"By the way, your autograph book has been ripped into shreds by my little fairy friend." Link said.  
  
"Don't say anymore!! My autograph book was a close friend of mine (sniff)! I SHALL AVENGE YOU!! TOTAL ANHILILATION!!!" Amy screamed, jumping on the pile of sand calling Navi every name she knew. Link and Owen were gone with the wind.  
  
After calming down, Amy looked the deep hole where Navi once was. She noticed that the others were nowhere in sight. "Guys!" she shouted but got no reply. "Owen I have got candy..." she yelled. Owen darted out and started kissing her feet.  
  
"Oh glorious one! Give me candy!" he said.  
  
"As if." Amy replied. Owen burst into tears. Link came into view.  
  
"AMY!! LOOK BEHIND YOU!!!" He yelled. Amy slowly turned around. Navi was hovering behind her. Navi screeched, summoned all of its strength and charged into Amy, letting out a piercing cry. Navi only bounced off her, crash landed in the sand and (surprise, surprise) was buried by Owen.  
  
"Sayonara, Navi, the evil scary thing with wings who killed my autograph book and my schoolbag." Amy said looking down at the lump of sand which was Navi. "Owen." She said turning to the goron who was now trying to eat his feet. "Thee may crush with thy ass."  
  
"Huh?" He replied.  
  
"Sit on Navi!"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because I said so!"  
  
"Why did you say so?"  
  
"Because why?"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"SHUT UP!! For goodness sake just walk with me to the exit so we can get out of here!!" Link snarled. Owen and Amy were silenced. "Good." Link said. "Follow me." Link began to walk and Amy and Owen followed.

Amanda dragon- I can't belive I thought up that! WOOOO!!!

Bob- That was naff.

Amanda dragon- (scowls at Bob)


	4. Navi's Final Stand

Amanda dragon- Thank you for your reviews Summer Maxwell and Lexial147!!!!  
  
Bob- I am surprised you even got any....  
  
Amanda dragon- SHUT UP!! Onward to the next chapter!! (I don't own the Nintendo characters or places, if I did, I would be in a mansion)  
  
Chapter 4- Navi's Final Stand

Link continued to make Amy and Owen follow him until Amy fell onto the ground and started gasping. Link just sighed and said "I knew you shouldn't have left the water!"  
  
"But the zoras in the game just stood there for all eternity!" Owen said, ignoring the suffocating Amy.  
  
"What game!?"  
  
"Uh....."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Hmm...."  
  
"And the answer is?"  
  
"Hmm...Ah!"  
  
"What!?"  
  
"I didn't know you wore tights!"  
  
"Have you got a problem with that?"  
  
"Yes...It's not right for boys to wear tights, not right at all..."  
  
"PEOPLE!! I AM SUFFOCATING!!" Amy shouted. Owen handed her a glove. "HOW IS THAT SUPPOSED TO HELP ME!!? I AM MELTING!!" she screamed.  
  
"Very nice." Link said, dismissing her with a wave of his hand. "Where were we Owen?" He asked, turning to Owen who was now trying to eat the sand.  
  
"Air..." Amy gasped.  
  
"Can it!!" Owen screeched.  
  
"Air?"  
  
"NOO!!"  
  
"Amy shut up!" Link yelled. "Now Link, why do you wear tights?"  
  
"They make me feel whole."  
  
"OK?"  
  
"And without them, I'd be lost."  
  
"Why?" Owen asked, feeling scared.  
  
"Because I..." Link started until (surprise, surprise again) Navi flew over. It glared at Amy who was winging on the sand. It flew over, but then was grabbed by Owen who stuffed Navi into his mouth and started chewing.  
  
"It could do with some sugar though..." Owen muttered.  
  
"Ewww...that's disgusting! Where are your table manners!!?" Link shouted. Soon there was a loud rumbling coming from Owen's belly. Navi charged out of Owen's mouth. It went mad, circled everyone and began charging into them. Although it was too weak to do any physical damage, it was annoying, like a mosquito that should be slapped away, which is exactly what Owen did. Navi buzzed in front of his face and he clapped his hands. Navi crashed into the sand.  
  
"Amy? Are you dead yet?" Link asked.  
  
"No." Amy replied.  
  
"Aww..." Link looked at Owen and then turned back to Amy who was now playing in an oasis right next to him. "Where did that come from!?" he asked.  
  
"You were standing right next to it! Now I won't dry out for a long, long time! By the way, you've been sunburnt!" Amy said. Link looked at his arm, which was now bright red. He was just about to say something until Navi flew out of the sand (again and for the last time I assure you! I think this has gone far enough).  
  
"You will be wiped out!!" it yelled at no one in particular. Its eyes met Link. "YOU!!" it roared. "YOU SHALL SUFFER!!" Navi turned green and started casting a spell. Suddenly, Link's tights turned green.  
  
"NO!! MY TIGHTS!!" Link screamed in horror as his tights started to mutate.  
  
Amanda dragon- I am sort of thinking this Navi business is getting repetitive. I shall replace her next chapter for Gannondorf or something better.  
  
Bob- (Is gagged and tied up)...  
  
Amanda dragon- Good! Please R & R!!


	5. Gannondorf's 'Manly Make Up'

Amanda dragon- WOOOOOOO!!  
  
Bob- (Still gagged and tied up)...  
  
Amanda dragon- Onward to the next chapter!!! (I am not Shigeru Miyamato (if that's how you spell it). If I was, I wouldn't be writing this)  
  
Chapter five- Gannondorf's 'Manly Make Up'  
  
Link's tights were mutating. Navi's evil laughter sounded like somebody strangling a cat. Link knew he had to take his tights off. He had to but he couldn't. They were is hopes and dreams.  
  
Owen saw that Link was refusing to take his tights off. He thought about this. Link and mutated monster for tights didn't mix. He slowly ran up to Link and ripped his tights off.  
  
"NOOOO!!" Link cried. "My past! My future! Ruined..." Owen threw the tights into the distance before they turned into a monster.  
  
"They didn't suit you..." Amy begun but was cut off by Link jumping on her like a savage and trying to destroy her.  
  
"My plan has failed...I must go to drastic measures..." Navi muttered to herself.  
  
A small figure appeared in the sky. They all stopped what they were doing and looked. They tights were flying at a high speed towards them. They were getting bigger by the minute. When they landed in front of them, they were at least 3 stories tall and had a human resemblance, except it was green.  
  
"It's the jolly, green giant!" Amy shouted.  
  
"My tights!!" Link screeched.  
  
The giant looked down at Navi. It bent down and picked up the small annoying fairy. "HEY!!!!" Navi complained. The 'jolly, green giant' walked off into the distance with Navi.  
  
"Good riddance." Amy said, happy because there was no more Navi. She turned to Link who was whimpering about his tights. She looked at Owen, who hadn't noticed a thing, who was on a blanket under a huge umbrella which had appeared from nowhere in particular.  
  
Then another shape appeared in the sky. This one was much smaller. It came closer and Link and Amy could see a huge, long sword. They jumped into the oasis for safety, leaving Owen under his umbrella. Link carefully stuck his head out pf the water and gasped. A tall man with a green tan, black armour and red hair had spotted them. He knelt down and grabbed Amy and Link and threw them on the desert sand. Amy looked at him. She had seen him from somewhere. She slowly got to her feet and stared at the man.  
  
"You look like the jolly, green giant." She said.  
  
"WHAT!!" he yelled. A huge gust of wind came from nowhere and blew Owen's umbrella away.  
  
Owen slowly got up and saw a green man. He got a shock. "GREEN ALIEN!!!" he cried and ran around in circles.  
  
"IT'S MY MANLY MAKE UP!!!" he yelled at Owen.  
  
"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!" Amy screamed and started running around in circles with Owen.  
  
"WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE DRESS BOY!!! HOW DARE THEY INSULT MY WONDERFUL MANLY MAKE UP AND THE FUTURE KING OF HYRULE!!!!!!" he yelled.  
  
"Well Gannondork, I am wearing a tunic, not a dress! Your make up looks gay so they have every right to insult it!" Link snarled.  
  
"SHUT IT DRESS BOY!!" Gannondorf screamed.  
  
"IT'S A TUNIC!!!" Link yelled  
  
"DRESS!!"  
  
"TUNIC!!"  
  
"DRESS!"  
  
"TUNIC!!"  
  
"LADIES!" Amy shouted.  
  
"How dare you call me a lady! Especially with my manly make up on!" Gannondorf shouted.  
  
"I am not a lady! Plus, I do NOT wear a dress. It's a tunic." Link said.  
  
"Still looks like a dress to me..." Gannondorf muttered.  
  
"What did you say!?" Link screeched.  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"Good!"  
  
"EARTH IS BEING INVADED BY GREEN ALIENS!!" Owen cried, still running around in circles around Gannondorf. Gannondorf then slapped Owen away and resumed his argument with Link.  
  
"DRESS!!"  
  
"TUNIC!!"  
  
"DRESS!"  
  
"TUNIC!!"  
  
Etcetera  
  
Amanda dragon- That was strange... I was going to make Link's tights eat him but then I saw an advert of the jolly, green giant's tin of peas (which I don't own). I couldn't resist. Please R & R!!! 


	6. Another Stupid Argument

Amanda dragon- I am getting reviews!! I am sorry this took a long time because my parents wouldn't let me on the computer. I'll give everyone an invisible chufty badge!! As soon as you read this that invisible made up thing will be on your clothes!!! I am also sorry if I spell Amy into Amanda. They are both similar to me. (You all should know that Nintendo owns the characters and places.)  
  
Chapter 6- Another Stupid Argument  
  
"Dress!!" Gannondorf yelled.  
  
"Tunic!!" Link screamed.  
  
"Dress!!"  
  
"Tunic!!"  
  
"Dress!!"  
  
"Tunic!!"  
  
"Dress!!"  
  
"Tunic!!"  
  
"Dress!!"  
  
"Tunic!!"  
  
"Shut up ladies!!" Amy yelled getting tired of this stupid, pointless argument repeating itself.  
  
"How dare you call me a lady!! Especially with my..." Gannondorf began but was interrupted by Amy trying to rip his head off.  
  
"I am not a lady..." Link started but was also interrupted by Amy who gave him an icy glare while she had a brilliant attempt at decapitating Gannondorf's head with a stick.  
  
"Um...people?" Link said, trying to get their attention. It failed.  
  
"PEOPLE!" he shouted. No one noticed his presence in the desert.  
  
"I EAT DOG SH...sh...sh?" Link roared. He won attention but also a lot of awkward looks. "Hehehe..." he muttered and turned red while everyone resumed their argument and Owen walked off.  
  
"How dare you make everything repeat itself and be random!!! I shall rip you apart with my bare hands and scatter you to the four winds!!" Amy screamed but everyone was gone with the wind. She then found them all walking quickly to the forest which no one had seemed to notice before. "Wait for me!" She yelled at them. She easily caught up to them as they were standing still, refusing to go into the forest. "Last one in is a girl's blouse!" Amy yelled.  
  
"That brave person..." Link muttered. Then Amy ran back.  
  
"I am not going in there!!! I won't be coming with you if you set foot into that forest." Owen said.  
  
"I think we know what that will be..." Gannondorf muttered.  
  
"First before we decide I strongly think that we should evict someone like the dork standing next to me with the ghastly green make up." Link said.  
  
"IT'S NOT GREEN!! IT'S MY WONDERFUL TAN!!" Gannondorrf screamed.  
  
"I want to evict myself because I want to go home." Amy said.  
  
"EVICT SOMEONE ELSE LIKE THE GREEN ALIEN STANDING NEXT TO ME!!" Link roared.  
  
"Fine. I'll evict it." Amy scowled.  
  
"YOU DARE CALL ME IT!! I AM A HE NOT AN IT!!" Gannondorf shouted.  
  
"Can I get a say in this?" Owen asked.  
  
"NO!" They all screamed.  
  
"I LIKE BUSUMS!!" Amy yelled trying to attract attention. Everyone stared at her. "Good good. Now we should all go into the forest of dreams." She said gazing up at the tall, black, gloomy trees standing above her.  
  
"What about the eviction!" Link snapped.  
  
"We'll come back to that in the forest." Amy replied.  
  
"I am not going in! I am staying right here!" Owen yelled.  
  
"Well it's your funeral." Gannondorf muttered. They began to walk into the forest.  
  
"You can't leave me!! I am a great contribute to the team!! I do all the fighting, cleaning and talking!! Without me you will never survive!!" He screamed. They walked into the forest. "Fine I'll come." He mumbled.  
  
Amanda dragon- How freakish was that! That is the way my mind works people. I have absolutely got no ideas for the next chapter so if you even want to review this then please could you add in a few ideas for this (like a donkey in a bikini or Gannondorf in a tutu or something less insane then them!)???! 


	7. Blooming Lake Hylia

Amanda dragon- I promise to try and make the chapters longer or update more often. This chapter is longer and took me a long time to write. Thank you all for your glorious reviews!! Please don't sue me if I am using your ideas!! If they are not mentioned in this chapter, they will be in the next or the next. They are all really good and reminded me greatly of the fishing pond and the great memory of catching the guy's hat on the fishing rod and chucking it in the water...the good memories.  
  
Bob- (Who has now been released after torture) this is the greatest story in the world!! (Amanda dragon scowls at him and takes him back to the torture room).  
  
Amanda dragon- Now, onward to the next stupid, pointless chapter.  
  
Chapter 7- Blooming Lake Hylia  
  
They were all walking down the forest path. Link was still trying to evict Gannondorf and was tripping him up with a stick every once and a while.  
  
"My feet hurt! I am hungry! I need a carry! I need sugar! I need the time! I need a telly! I need the cinema! I need the D.V.D player! I need..." Owen whined. All of Owens moaning seemed to float of into the distance.  
  
5 hours later...  
  
"I need the toilet! I need vodka!" Owen groaned.  
  
"We are here and Owen, please could you shut the (bleep) up NOW!!!" Link roared. They were all standing in front of a huge lake with a few bridges across it into platforms, one with a tree and the other (to Amy's horror) a gravestone.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!" She screamed.  
  
"There is nothing under it except a deku scrub." Link said.  
  
"A dead one?" Amy asked. Link was gone. She looked around for him and spotted him climbing out of the grave.  
  
"It's dead now." He said.  
  
"NO!! ZOMBIES!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!" she screamed. She ran and jumped into the lake.  
  
"Oooooookaay... Now what about this eviction thing! I want to evict Gannondork NOW!!!" Link screamed.  
  
"The name's Gannondorf NOT Gannondork! I am so going to evict you, you garden gnome!!" Gannondork (Amanda dragon giggles but stopped as Gannondork, er, Gannondorf gave her and icy stare) I mean, Gannondorf screeched. Then Gannondorf pulled a funny face of pain and his eye started twitching. Then he went about scratching himself like a dog.  
  
"LOOK!! GANNONDORK HAS GOT AN ALLERGIC REACTION TO HIS EVER SO 'MANLY' MAKE UP!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!" Link laughed as Gannondorf went insane.  
  
10 minutes later...  
  
The itching had stopped and Link was beginning to calm down.  
  
"Guys? I have played the game and I was wondering if we could go fishing?" Owen asked politely.  
  
Gannondorf (who had red blotches on his 'green' face) and Link (who was holding in another laugh attack) stared at him and asked "what game!?"  
  
"Ummm... Let's just go fishing!"  
  
"Can you swim?" Link asked.  
  
"No, why?"  
  
"Because the fishing pond is over a lake."  
  
"I can ride the silly plant thing that is by that house." Owen walked over to the plant and stood on it. It zoomed up into the air and circled the lake a hundred times during the minute and they could hear Owen's pitiful screams all the way through it. It slowly landed on the grass bank near the fishing pond and threw Owen off.  
  
"MY GO!! MY GO!!" Amy screamed and hopped out of the lake and ran towards the plant. Gannondorf ran after her and jumped on after her. They zoomed round the lake. Link was killing himself from laughing because he could hear Gannondorf screaming like a two year old and Amy laughing with pleasure. Then Gannondorf fell off and landed in the middle of the lake. Link was now suffocating.  
  
Amy landed and jumped off the plant U.F.O. and tripped over Owen's body. After Link controlled himself, he swam past the drowning Gannondorf and climbed onto the platform. Gannondorf tried to follow but sunk because of his heavy armour. Link had another laugh attack.  
  
2 minutes later...  
  
There was no sign of Gannondorf getting out of the water. Link looked hopeful. "Ho Ganny! Are you dead yet?" he yelled. No reply. "YES!! OH YES!!" Link shouted and done lots of cartwheels all over the place.  
  
A distant green humanoid figure appeared. As it drew closer, it was recognised as the...  
  
"Jolly, green giant!" Amy gasped.  
  
Yes it was no other but the jolly, green giant!  
  
"SHUT UP YOU STUPID AMANDA DRAGON!" Bob screamed. "START DOING YOUR JOB!"  
  
"ME!? I AM OFFENDED!!" Amanda dragon shouted back. Bob and Amanda dragon start fighting and cussing at each other.  
  
Anyway, back to the story...  
  
"SHUT UP!!" Bob screamed.  
  
The giant walked into the lake (which was only ankle high on him) and plucked Gannondorf out (with Navi screaming in the giant's hand).  
  
"Put him back!" Link cried as he came back to reality. The giant ignored him, or couldn't hear him and placed Gannondorf on the grass bank who glared at Amy, who done her most innocent, puppy eyes look.  
  
"Shall we go in?" Link suggested pointing to the door. Everyone walked in.  
  
A man was lying on the bench with a puddle of drool hanging out of his mouth, obviously asleep. Amy got everyone's attention silently and pointed towards the lake (which had a fat heron in it which had eaten all the fish) and the fishing rods. Gannondorf and Link stared at them in confusion as they picked up the rods and headed towards the lake.  
  
"Um... Amy? I hate to tell you but there are no fish in the water..." Link said.  
  
"Shh!!" Amy hissed. "You will scare off all the fish and wake that man!" She pointed to the man who looked like an avalanche wouldn't wake him.  
  
"But there are not fish!" Link insisted but was dismissed by Amy with a wave of her hand. He walked towards Owen who actually had his fishing rod in the pond. "Owen! There are not fish!" He shouted.  
  
"Sh! YOU SCARED THE FISH AWAY!! IT WAS GOING TO GO FOR THE BAIT AS WELL!!" Owen screamed. Link looked down at the water. There were no fish at all. He looked up at Owen who had resumed fishing.  
  
"Owen? I think you need help..." Link whispered.  
  
"YOU SCARED THAT FISH AWAY TOO!!" Owen roared.  
  
"THERE ARE NO BLOOMING FISH IN THAT BLOOMING POND SO HOW DO YOU CATCH BLOOMING FISH WHEN THERE ARE NO BLOOMING FISH IN THE BLOOMING POND!!!!" Link yelled.  
  
"Link... Fishes and ponds don't bloom..." Amy said. Something in Link snapped and he went about in a crazy laugh attack, ripping up weeds, rocks and sand and throwing them in the air like confetti. Gannondorf set up camp. The man didn't awake.  
  
4 hours later...  
  
Amy was the last one awake, still fishing determinedly. She reeled the string in and threw it backwards for no apparent reason. The string dangled in front of her and attached to it was... a blue hat! She looked behind her and saw the now bald sleeping man, with a river of drool flowing around his desk. Amy didn't know what to do with it. She looked at the pond, then at the hat. She threw the string and hat into the river. There it lay, unknown to any person except herself. She turned around, pleased with herself. She turned around straight into the man's arms. His bald head shone in the moonlight and he shouted "I'M SUEING YOU!!!"  
  
Amanda dragon- WOO!! Please review and enjoy. You can give your ideas if you want...  
  
Bob- (Unconscious on the floor)  
  
Amanda dragon- YAY!! 


	8. The Revenge of the Bald Dude

Amanda dragon- With two stories up, it's hard to make sense of what part I am on. I shall still be updating as quickly as possible though!! Sorry it is taking so long. I came upon a sudden strike of laziness... Thank you all for your reviews and I shall be mentioning Tingle in it!!! How I hate him...  
  
Bob- Shut up and get on with the story!!  
  
Chapter 8- The Revenge of the Bald Dude  
  
The man looked down at Amy again. "I don't have any money..." she whispered.  
  
"LOOK WHAT YOU DONE TO MY WONDERFUL HAT!!! IT'S RUINED!! I CAN'T LIVE ANYMORE!! YOU SHALL PAY ME 10,000 RUPEES!!! HAHAHAHA!!" he roared. Link, who was woken by the racket, looked at his wallet. He only had 20 rupees.  
  
"It's only a hat..." Amy said.  
  
"Only a hat!? ONLY A HAT!! IT WASN'T ANY OLD HAT!! IT HAD SPIRIT AND HAD LIVED A HAPPY LIFE UNTIL YOU CAME HERE!!!" He screamed in torment.  
  
"Uh... Ok?" She said as she backed away from the obsessed freak.  
  
"My hat!! My wonderful hat! Ruined..." he cried, picking the sodden thing out of the fishless water. Meanwhile, Owen was watching, with no interest and understanding of what was happening. He looked dumbly at the complaining man shaking his hat around as if it was a maraca and Amy and Link shouting at him. Owen went back to sleep.  
  
"ONE MORE RULE YOU HAVE VIALATED!!! NO SLEEPING IN THE POND AREA!!! THE FISH NEED SLEEP!!" He screamed.  
  
"There are no fish..." Link muttered.  
  
"OH YES THERE ARE!! Can't you see little Bobby popping its head out of the water! Or Frank? Or Paul!" He shouted. Link looked at the water. There were no fish.  
  
"OH!! Oh!! Can I name one?!" Amy asked excitedly.  
  
"NO!! YOU ARE STRESSING ME AND MY HAT!! My preciousss..." he muttered. Owen woke up again and looked at the bald man. He was stroking his hat as if it was a cat. Owen started to rub the sleep out of his eyes. He then saw a tall blue figure standing over him. It grinned.  
  
"AMY!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOO!!" He cried as he plummeted into the lake. Amy laughed like a muppet.  
  
"MY LAKE!! MY BEAUTIFUL LAKE!!" The bald man cried. "YOU HAVE BEEN HERE LONG ENOUGH!! PAY ME AND THEN GET OUT!!!"  
  
"How much?" Link asked.  
  
"Hmm... 100 rupees for scaring the fish, 200 for sleeping overnight, 600 for throwing a goron into the lake, 100 for the green alien (points to Gannondorf) and 10,000 for DESTROYING my beloved hat!" Link rooted around in his wallet for more money. He could only find 20.  
  
Meanwhile, Owen was getting out of the lake and vowing revenge on the bald man and Amy. He slowly walked in front of the bald man who then looked confuzzled. "Are you the one that is paying me!?" he yelled.  
  
"Uh... In the game you only charged like 50 rupees so why crank it up to 2000?" Owen asked dumbly.  
  
"It hasn't gone up to 2000 cloth ears! It is 10900! Just me! I am soooooooooo smart!" Amy said, proud of herself.  
  
"Just you shut up!" Owen screamed.  
  
"You shut up! I am the smart one!"  
  
"Yeah, well I am...uh...smart"  
  
"HA!! You are as smart as a tin of minced beef!"  
  
"Well, you are a...hmm... fish face!"  
  
"Is that ALL you can come up with! Fatzo!"  
  
"Sieve!"  
  
"Pig belly!"  
  
"Elf!"  
  
"Elf!? Beer belly!"  
  
"Washing basket!"  
  
"Penguin!"  
  
"Clothes peg!"  
  
"A goo goo poo poo!"  
  
"PEOPLE!! SILENCE IN MY WONDERFUL LAKE!" The bald man cried. There was silence. "Now, I am going to call the expert in to exterminate you."  
  
"Wh-wh-wh-what expert?" Link asked.  
  
"TINGLE!! GET IN HERE!!"  
  
A green man floated down on a balloon. When he landed a horrific form came before their eyes. The man was very short, had a big red nose and scary eyes, wore a stupid pointed hat that made him look like a garden gnome, looked gay but worst of all, had his underpants on the outside!  
  
"Uh... dude? You have got your underpants on the outside of your clothes." Owen said.  
  
"I know. They make me look manly." He replied.  
  
"Not another Gannondorf..." Link muttered.  
  
"Does anyone want a map? I sell them!" He said.  
  
"No. Not after you have touched them..." Amy said.  
  
"Hmm... I'll give you one anyway! Kooloo-Limpha (if that is how you spell it...)!!" He shouted. A map appeared in Amy's hands.  
  
"GET IT OFFA MOI!! IT HAS TINGLE GERMS!!!" She screamed. The world went silent.  
  
In a far away town...  
  
A booming cry was heard for miles around. Everyone covered their ears. Alarms rang. Then there was silence. A baby started crying.  
  
Back to the deaf people...  
  
Everyone held their ears. They all then noticed that the map wasn't in Amy's hands. It was resting on Owen's arm.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTIIIEEEEEEESSSSS!!! HHHHHHHEEEELLLLPPPPPPP!!! I AM GONNA DIE!!" Owen screamed.  
  
Everyone shielded their ears again and the same thing happened in the far away town. Then they all noticed that the map wasn't in Owen's hands. It was resting on the sleeping form of Gannondorf.  
  
Amanda dragon- That was a very strange thing. Sorry for the very long wait. It is probably getting too wild and scary for some people. Anyway, please review! I am not forcing you to; you don't have to although I want you too... 


	9. The Attack of the Living Trees

Amanda dragon- Thank you for the reviews!!! I have finally been able to post this chapter!! I had it typed the day after I posted chapter 8 but I couldn't be bothered to post it.  
  
Bob- I am so surprised it is posted you actually have 20 reviews...  
  
Amanda dragon- SHUT UP!! You all know I don't own much and if I owned Zelda, I would kill off Tingle.  
  
Chapter 9- The Day of the Living Trees  
  
No one dared to wake Gannondorf as he slept on, with the contaminated map resting on his shoulder. Everyone started to edge away, towards the door in silence. They all stood in front of the door. No one dared to open it incase it made a noise. "Aww stuff this!" Owen said and yanked the door open. It made a noise. Gannondorf woke up.  
  
"Look at this Owen! You woke Gamondork up!!" Link shouted.  
  
"What is this?" Gannondorf asked, looking confuzzled. He noticed a signature in the corner. It said Tingle. Gannondorf screamed like a 1 year old and threw it at Tingle. Luckily, it smacked him in the face and knocked him out.  
  
"RUN AWAY!!" Amy screamed. Everyone except Tingle and the bald dude ran out of the pond and threw themselves in the water. Amy pulled herself onto the shore. She looked around and noticed everyone else thrashing about in the water. She burst into maniacal laughter.  
  
Meanwhile...  
  
Link's arm was caught on Gannondorf's armour, which was sinking. Owen had quickly grabbed the island before he sunk and pulled himself out.  
  
Amy had stopped laughing and was swimming towards Owen. She clambered out of the water and sat next to him. "Got any bright ideas?" she asked.  
  
"I have one..." he replied.  
  
2 minutes later...  
  
Amy and Owen were sitting on the river bank fishing. Owen lifted his fishing rod out of the water. He was using a bound and gagged Tingle for bait. "I doubt you'd catch anything with that THING you are using as bait." Amy said. She inspected her fishing rod. She was using the bound and gagged bald man for bait.  
  
"I don't think you will catch anything with that either..." Owen said.  
  
3 hours later...  
  
"Oh I got one!! It's a big one!" Owen yelled. Amy looked at the pile of shoes, boots, bottles, skeletons, jewellery, branches, rotting corpses, stones and a shiny golden triangle (the triforce piece...only, they don't know that...).  
  
"You have caught nothing useful at all!" Amy snapped.  
  
"Well what have you caught then!?" Owen shouted.  
  
"Uh... Nothing."  
  
"See! I am way better at fishing than you!"  
  
"I think we should stop now... Link and Gannondorf have probably drowned by now..."  
  
"It's all because you are crap at fishing and I am supreme!"  
  
"Are you challenging me!?"  
  
"Yes!!"  
  
"This is war then!"  
  
"LADIES!!" Someone shouted from the other bank. They turned and saw Link and Gannondorf also fishing, probably looking for them. Amy grabbed Owen, after shoving all the stuff he had found back into the water, and swam over.  
  
"Have you seen a golden triangle nearby? I have heard rumours about it being here and I've been fishing here all day." Link asked.  
  
"Um... No..." Amy said, looking very, very guilty.  
  
"Ok." Link replied.  
  
"Where are we going?"  
  
"I have had a debate with Gannondorf about that and we both eventually agreed to go to the lost woods." Link said while pointing to a beat up Gannondorf. They all walked out of the lake (except Gannondorf who was being dragged along by Link). "Should we go the way we came which was quicker, or the long way round?" He asked.  
  
"QUICK WAY!!" they all agreed. They marched back into the lake and went into the woods.  
  
"We need to be careful here, the trees are dangerous." Link said.  
  
"Yeah right" Owen said and then was slapped on the back of his head by a menacing looking tree.  
  
"Amy? Are you ok?" Link asked. There was no reply. He looked back and saw her being slapped around, back and forth by 2 trees.  
  
"They are bullying me!" She screamed. Link sighed and walked on, after being slapped in the face by a particularly large branch. He looked back and saw the trees wrestling with Amy. They had eyes.  
  
"THE TREES ARE ALIVE!! HELP!!" Link screamed and ran away, leaving the unconscious Gannondorf on the floor. .  
  
Meanwhile...  
  
"HA!!! LOSERS!! You lot can neva beat 'da Amy' in your whole grassy lives!" Amy laughed while kicking all the trees.  
  
"We aren't trees..." The tall tree groaned.  
  
"AHH!! ZOMBIES!!! HELP!!" Amy screamed and ran away.  
  
One of the trees took of its costume. It was the bald man. "We sure got them back eh Tingle?" He said. He got no reply. "TINGLE!" He turned around and saw Tingle swaying back and forth in his tree costume. "What in Hyrule are you doing!?" He cried.  
  
"I am one with the wind." Tingle replied.  
  
"Very nice. Stop doing tree impressions. We still need to get revenge and I know just how to do it..." the bald man sneered while grinning evilly.  
  
Amanda dragon- This freaky chapter was inspired by the woods I had to march through. The trees were eval and kept slapping me silly. I wanted to burn the whole woods down after that...but... I FIND TREES CUTE!!! HAHAHAHA!!  
  
THE REST OF THIS STRANGE SPEECH WAS BLOCKED OUT DUE TO EXTREME INSANITY AND AN ANGRY TREE. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW TO SHUT HER UP SO I CAN GET SOME PEACE. THANK YOU. 


	10. Darunia's Stupid Dance

Amanda dragon- Reviews!! Thank you very much for all of them!! Sorry for the wait! This is my longest chapter yet, due to my account going all funny and me being unable to log in. I don't have the faintest idea about the tree thing. It was sort of my idea and my friends... Anyways, the next chapter!!  
  
Chapter 10- Darunia's Stupid Dance  
  
Link was blindly running through the woods, trees slapping him. He then heard a scream and saw a blue shape running at a high speed towards him. He stopped and looked around. Then he heard an angry yell of rage. "LINK!!" He slowly turned around. A girl with green hair, a green tunic and a fairy was standing behind him. "LINK!! WHY DIDN'T YOU COME TO ME!! YOU SHOULD HAVE LEARNT MY SONG AGES AGO!! YOU SIT DOWN THERE THIS INSTANT AND LEARN MY SONG OR ELSE YOU WILL SUFFER THE CONCECUENCES!!" Saria screamed.  
  
"Um... Ok." Link sighed.  
  
"Now listen to moi!" She yelled. She took out her ocarina and begun playing her song. "Play it with me NOW!!" Saria shouted. Link grumbled and took out his ocarina and tried to follow along, but ended up playing like a dying penguin. "Link you are playing it all wrong!! I give up. Here is the music so learn it yourself." She snapped.  
  
"Thank you." Link mumbled.  
  
"Now get outta my forest!!" She screamed. Link nearly exploded with happiness as Saria stormed off. Link then wondered where he had to go. He didn't have Navi around to shout at him and tell him where to go. He then heard more screams. Link turned around again and a screaming zora crashed into him.  
  
"THE TREES!! THEY ARE ALLIIIIIVE!!" She screamed.  
  
"I know. Trees are living creatures like us." Link said calmly. Amy looked around and saw one of the trees was moving towards her.  
  
"HELP!! THEY ARE MOVING!!" She cried, pointing at two trees. Link looked behind. The trees were swaying in the breeze.  
  
"The wind is blowing them." He said. Then he heard some more yelling so he glanced backwards and saw Owen and Gannondorf running towards him. Link felt popular. He then gave a worried look because Owen looked like he wasn't going to stop. "OWEN!! STOP!!" He yelled as Owen jumped and landed on top of him. Compared to Link, the gorons were very heavy. In other words, Link was smushed.  
  
"Hullo?" Owen asked, wondering where Link had gone.  
  
"Mrmmph!" Link mumbled, smothered by Owen's butt.  
  
"Oh there you are!! WATCH OUT!! THOSE TREES ARE TRYING TO KILL YOU!!" Owen screamed. Link looked behind him again and the trees were in exactly the same place as last time.  
  
"IGNORE THE TREES BECAUSE WE HAVE TO GO TO DEATH MOUNTAIN (a thunder clap is heard)!!"  
  
"NO!! NOT DEATH MOUNTAIN!! (Another thunder clap is herd)" Amy, Owen and Gannondorf screamed.  
  
"Yes!! Death Mountain (yet again, a thunder clap is heard)!!" Link said.  
  
"NO!! NOT DEATH MOU- (half a thunder clap is heard)" They begun, but Amy's fin thing, Owen's leg and Gannondorf's abnormally big nose were grabbed by Link and they were dragged out of the forest to a wide, open field. Link continued to storm across the field to a bridge which went over a river. He stormed up the stairs and they arrived at a village.  
  
"You can let go now." A blocked nosed Gannondorf said. Link's grip on his nose tightened. Several people stopped and stared at Link who was still holding Amy, Owen and Gannondorf in a vice like grip. Soon, a huge crowd was following them around as Link stormed up more stairs towards a closed gate with a soldier guarding it.  
  
"No one may go through, only those with royal permission." The guard said. Link growled and glared at him, pointing to his sword. "Or those who are threatening me with a huge sword and several grabbed people." The guard finished. He then quickly opened the gate and ran away. Link walked through.  
  
They were on a mountain peak with dragons flying everywhere and they flew down and ate everyone, the end. (Amanda dragon grabs the key board off Bob and shoves him into the beer closet and locks it tightly.) Now back to the story.  
  
They were on a rocky path, with boulders rolling down it and menacing red spider thingymajiggars on it. Link dropped them at the bottom and stormed up the path with astonishing speed. Gannondorf got up and laughed. "These are my creations!! They won't harm me!! I can use them to escape from you guys!! Mwahahaha!!"  
  
"If you want to escape from our 'grip' just walk away." Amy said.  
  
"NO!! THE PRINCE OF DARKNESS MUST NOT ESCAPE!!" Owen yelled and clung on to Gannondorf's leg.  
  
"This is embarrassing... I hope no one sees me like this..." Gannondorf moaned. Just then, a moblin walked pass and started pointing and laughing at Gannondorf. He sweatdropped as five more moblins appeared and started laughing. Amy slowly walked away and begun the trip up the mountain. Gannondorf tried to follow but had a three tonne goron stuck to his leg. Gannondorf muttered something under his breath, which was probably unprintable. He soon got annoyed and screamed "SILENCE MOTAL FOOLS!!! I AM YOUR MASTER!!! I COMMAND YOU TO GO BACK TO WORK AND LEAVE YOUR EVIL MASTER IN PEACE!!" Everyone was silent. "LOOK AT MY POWER AS I GRACEFULLY FLY AWAY!!" Gannondorf whipped his cape behind his back, whispered a spell, took off and landed back on his butt because of Owen. There was an eruption of laughter.  
  
Amy walked up the mountain path and heard a noise. It sounded like a dying penguin. Wanting to help the penguin, she ran up the path and turned the corner. There was Link playing his ocarina badly and stopping every so often to talk to the rock in front of him. Amy thought Link had gone mad and ran up to him. Link spotted her and waved. As she stood over the rock, a brown hand came out from under it and the psycho theme music plays (dliiiiin dliiiiiiin dliiiiiin dliiiiiiin!). She screamed.  
  
Meanwhile...  
  
Owen was unconscious, being dragged up the mountain by a very, very angry Gannondorf who had a huge group of moblins, who were still laughing, following him. He eventually reached the screaming Amy and the laughing Link. Amy then fainted and Link picked her up and walked into the door way. Gannondorf followed and pulled out his large axe of darkness. Link was standing at the edge of the place, looking down at a large decorated door. He turned and saw Gannondorf grinning evilly. "HO!! Gannonpork!! Whatcha smiling at?" Link asked. Seeing he was getting no answer, Link turned around and continued to look at the door. Gannondorf took out the axe, stood next to Link and swung. Amy and Owen walked in, singing a song about a song. With that, Gannondorf's axe went swinging over Link's head and he lost his balance and fell down the cliff and landed in front of the door Link was looking at.  
  
"You are smarter than you look Gannondork." Link said and threw himself off the edge. Owen followed suit. Amy spotted a stairway and walked down the stairs. She met the group at the bottom. They groaned as they walked towards the door. On the rug, there was writing. It said- PLAY THE STUPID ROYAL FAMILY SONG FOR ME TO ENTER MY WONDERFUL ROOM THAT BELONGS TO ME, THE ALMIGHTY DARUNIA, KING OF GORONS!! YOU DARE DISOBAY ME BY READING THIS MAT AND WALKING OFF CALLING ME A WIERDO WHO WRITES ON MATS!! PLAY THE SONG!! NOW!! PLAY IS OR ELSE I WILL FEED YOU TO MY PET DRAGON VOLVAGIA!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!  
  
"Link? Can you play the song?" Amy asked.  
  
"What song? This dude is an absolute weirdo who writes on mats!" Link said.  
  
"WHAT DID YOU SAY!!?" Boomed Darunia, who had slammed open the door.  
  
"I said, you are the most wonderful person in the world." Link mumbled as they walked in.  
  
"What are you in here for!?"  
  
"GIVE US THE RED EMERALD THING OR ELSE YOU SHALL SUFFER!!" Link screamed.  
  
"You are asking me, the almighty Darunia, king of gorons, the one and only Darunia to give you the precious red glowy thing?"  
  
"Uh... Yes. Can we have it?" Link asked.  
  
"On one condition. You play me a song that makes me dance."  
  
"I'd rather go trekking through the Dodongo cave to kill King Dodongo to get your food back!!"  
  
Darunia raised and eyebrow. "Really?"  
  
"NO!! Um... I'll play you a brilliant song." Link got out his ocarina and played badly. After two minutes of torture Darunia screamed.  
  
"SHUT UP!! THAT MUSIC IS GETTING RIGHT UP MY NOSE AND I HATE YOU ALL SO GET OUT!!" Amy grabbed the ocarina and played Saria's song. Suddenly, some invisible orchestra began to play the song as Darunia broke into a stupid looking dance. Everyone stared at him in silence. Link had noticed that Darunia had moved the emerald into his room for it to be safe, so Link grabbed it and continued to watch the bizarre dance.  
  
10 minutes later...  
  
Darunia stopped dancing and started frowning again. "YOU ALL GET OUT OF MY ROOM AND..." He began but started dancing again as Amy played the song again.  
  
"Let's get out of here." Link whispered as Darunia moonwalked around the room.  
  
On Death Mountain Trail...  
  
Tingle and the bald man were hiding behind a rock. "Have you assembled the new weapon!?" The bald man snapped.  
  
"Yes sir!" Tingle replied. They both laughed evilly.  
  
Amanda dragon- Sorry that chapter went on for a bit. There was nothing to do while the log in thing was down. Anyway, please read and review!! 


	11. The Two 'Demons'

Amanda dragon- Sorry for the wait, I was on holiday to Blackpool. I kind of chickened out at the Pepsi Max Big One...

Bob- CHICKEN GIRL!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! (Gets another shoe thrown at him)

Amanda dragon- HA!! You all know that I don't own Zelda; I would love to though... One more thing, whenever I type in goron, on the spell check it comes up as goon.

Owen- HOW DARE YOU OFFEND MOI!!

Chapter 11- The Two 'Demons'

Amy, Link, Owen and Gannondorf sneaked out of the dancing goron's room. While they were walking up the stairs, Gannondorf suddenly turned around. "GET OUTTA THE WAY GREEN ALIEN!!" Link screamed.

"I can't let you get out of here alive with that rock. Hand it to me so you can escape here with your lives." Gannondorf said.

Owen walked up to Gannondorf and looked at him with big puppy dog eyes. "Don't look at me like that!!" He snapped worriedly. Owen then smiled and kicked him in his (Amanda dragon- Coughcoughcoughcough... This is a PG isn't it?). Owen dusted himself down and stepped over the crumpled form of Gannondorf.

"He had it coming'" Owen said. Link and Amy stared in amazement.

"You just defeated the prince of darkness!!" Link exclaimed, watching Owen put the mat on top of Gannondorf. "Why do I need to collect these shiny rock things if Gannondork is dead?"

"I am not dead!! I am just in extreme pain!!" He yelled from under the mat.

"He didn't have to go that way!! If only I had said goodbye!!" Amy cried.

"I ain't dead woman!!"

"What was that?" Link asked.

"Dunno. The wind?" Owen replied.

"I am feeling neglected..."

"SHUT UP!!" Link shouted at Gannondorf.

"LINK!! YOU HAVE RUINRD THE WHOLE JOKE!! YOU ARE EVICTED!!" Amy screamed.

"But..." Link whimpered.

"YOU DARE DEFY ME?!!" Link walked up the stairs and out the exit/entrance door. Owen followed. "COWARDS!!" she yelled after them. After getting no reply, she walked up the stairs after them.

Amy walked out of the door and crashed into Link, who had crashed into Owen, who was standing still. Owen saw a huge, bright yellow blanket laid out across the rocky ground. "AH!!! GET IT AWAY GET IT AWAY!!" Owen screamed.

"It's only a yellow picnic blanket!" Amy said.

"It has got ropes attached to it." Link said, pointing to 4 extremely noticeable ropes attached to its corners.

"I MUST TEST IT!! IT MIGHT BE A TRAP!!"

"Naw..." Amy said sarcastically.

Owen walked back through the door.

5 minutes later...

Owen came back out. He was panting and dragging Gannondorf who was still holding his (Amanda dragon- Coughcoughcough!). He soon found out that Amy and Link were sitting on the other side of the yellow blanket. "How did you guys get over there?!" Owen yelled.

"We walked around it." Link replied.

"Oh... I could have done that!" Owen dumped Gannondorf on the ground and joined the group.

Meanwhile...

"Damn!! They didn't fall for our ingenious plan!" The bald man hissed from behind a nearby rock.

"We still have plans A, B, C and X..." Tingle whispered.

"Yeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssssssssss. Release the demons!" The bald man yelled.

"Shh!! Are you sure boss? They are very dangerous..."

"Do as I say!!"

Tingle waddled over to a cage that was shaking violently.

"Yes my beauties. You shall be released. Go and destroy the one who you accompanied!" Tingle yelled as he opened the cage. The demons flew out.

Back at the ranch...

"Shh!! Can you hear that?" Link whispered.

"HEAR WHAT?!!" Owen yelled from down bellow.

"I see them, they are coming for us." Link hissed.

"WHO ARE COMING FOR US!?"

"The demons."

"WHAT?"

"Be quiet!! They might hear us!"

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!"

"SHUT UP!! THEY ARE COMING!! RUN!!"

"I am not falling for that!! I shall sit right here and refuse to move!!"

A black shape came gliding towards them. "YOU CANNOT DEFEAT THE ALMIGHTY PRINCE OF DARKNESS!! HAND ME THE STONES OR ELSE!!"

"THEY ARE BEHIND YOU!!" Link screamed.

Gannondorf slowly turned around and saw two menacing looking shining lights floating in the air. "LIIIIIIIIIINK!!" They both screamed.

Amanda dragon- Sorry it's short. I wanted to leave it at a good cliff-hanger. Please read and review!!

Bob- The demons are actually- (gets a pile of shoes dropped on top of him).


	12. Make That Four 'Demons'

Amanda dragon- Thank you for all of your reviews!! Now to the next chapter!! I don't own Zelda but would love to! I don't really have much more to say...

Chapter 12- Make that Four 'Demons'

"NOOO!! PLEASE!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!" Link screamed at the floating balls of light. The floating balls of light were- NAVI AND TATL!!! (Dun dun dun!!)

"LINK!! HEY!! HO!!! FOLLOW ME!!! WATHCHA DOIN' DOWN THERE!! HOY!!! HURRY UP!! WATCH OUT!! LINK!!? WHY ARE YOU CRYING!!? WHY?! WHY!? WHY!? WHY!?" Tatl wailed. Link started to think suicidal thoughts. He was at the top of a cliff...

"LINK!! WE NEED TO GO TO JABU JABU'S BELLY!!! YOU DIDN'T GO IN LAST TIME!! HURRY UP!! LET'S GO TO ZORA'S RIVER!!" Navi screamed. Link looked for Amy and Owen for back up, but they were slowly making there way down the mountain. Gannondorf had mysteriously vanished.

"YEAH LINK!! LET'S GO TO ZORA'S RIVER!!" Tatl agreed. A troop of gorons were walking down the mountain. Link thought that his luck couldn't get any worse. If he only knew how worse it would get...

Link tried his hardest to ignore the wailing fairies and walked down the mountain path. Amy and Owen were walking up to him with earmuffs on. Suddenly, several large boulders came rolling down towards them. They stopped in front of them and stood up. They were gorons!! They opened up their arms. The one in the middle was Darunia. He smiled. "TUBBY HUG!!" He yelled.

"HAVE MERCY PLEASE!!" Link begged.

"NO ONE WILL INJURE LINK IN ANY WAY!!" Navi and Tatl yelled. They both flew up to the gorons and started talking, which is what they are good at. "GO AWAY!! SHOO!! BUGGER OFF!! GET LOST!! GO!! GO! GO! GO! GO!!!" Navi yelled, annoyingly repeating herself.

"YEAH!! LEAVE LINK ALONE!! GO AWAY!! GO AWAY!! GO AWAY!! GO AWAY!! GO AWAY!! GO AWAY!! GO AWAY!! GO AWAY!! GO AWAY!!!" Tatl screamed. The gorons couldn't stand the racket and they made a hasty retreat back up the mountain.

"LINK!! A MONSTER IS COMING TO ATTACK YOU!! WATCH OUT!!" Navi screeched, flying towards a purple ball of light.

"Oh God no..." Link murmured as the fairy came closer. Before the fairy's could say anything in their annoying high voices, Link grabbed Owen and Amy (who both had headaches) and ran down the mountain trail.

5 minutes later...

Link was running out of Kakariko village with Amy and Owen.

"STOP IT!!! I CAN WALK!!!" Owen screamed.

"LET GO OF ME NOW YOU EVAL PERSON!!" Amy screamed. Link chucked them into the river. "NOOOOOOOOO!! I AM DROWNING!!" she shouted, even though she was underwater.

Meanwhile, Owen stood up and realised that the water wasn't deep. He climbed onto dry land and dusted himself down. Link walked into the water and walked out with soggy tights. Owen had a fit of laughter. Owen then frowned. He screamed and ran away. Link turned around and saw Navi, Tatl and the new fairy (Tael)!!!

"HEY!! LINK!! WOT'S HAPPENIN'!! HEY TATL!! IS THAT REALLY YOU!!?" Tael yelled.

"YES IT IS ME!! OH TAEL!!"

"OH TATL!!"

"OH TAEL!!"

"OH TATL!!"

"OH TAEL!!"

"OH TATL!!"

"OH TAEL!!"

"OH TATL!!"

"OH TAEL!!"

"OH TATL!!"

"OH TAEL!!"

"SHUT UP!! LINK!! THERE'S A PEHAT BEHIND YOU!! USE Z TARGETING AND HIT IT!!" Navi butted in.

"NAVI!! YOU SHUT UP SHAT FACE!! I CAN TELL HIM WHAT TO DO!! HIT IT WITH ARROWS BEFORE IT SLICES YOU!!" Tatl screeched.

"HEY!! IT'S MY GO TO TELL HIM!! I HAVE NEVER DONE IT BEFORE!! USE Z TARGETING TO HIT IT WITH ARROWS, BOMBS, YOUR SWORD, HOOKSHOT, LONG SHOT, MEGEATON HAMMER, MAGIC BEANS, BOMBCHUS..." Tael began but was rudely interrupted by Navi telling him that magic beans cannot hurt anyone.

"THEY CAN HURT PEOPLE!! THEY ARE VERY POISONOUS AND CAN HURT IF ONE GETS THOWN AT YOU!!" Tatl winged, defending her brother.

"THEY CANNOT!!" Navi screamed. The fairies began fighting and cussing.

Meanwhile...

"Tingle!! Is the final, most deadly demon ever at her station?" The bald man asked.

"Yes master. They are near her." Tingle replied.

"Good."

Back to the group...

They were walking along the side of Zora's River until they saw a zora sitting down near the water. Link walked over and froze as he saw the zora's face.

"Linky-poo!! Oh, how I have missed you!!"

Amanda dragon- If anyone doesn't know who Tatl is, she is the annoying replacement for Navi in Majora's Mask and Tael is her equally annoying brother. Thank you for reading and please review!!


	13. Poor, poor Link

Amanda dragon- Sorry for the incredibly long wait!! I could only update my other fan fiction because the floppy went mad. Now I am having problems logging in, so don't expect the next chapter to be up so soon... THANK YOU FOR THE REVEIWS!! A BIG HUG TO ALL OF YOU!!

Bob- You missed me out you... you... FIEND!!

Amanda dragon- You didn't say the disclaimer!! SAY IT!!

Bob- No.

Amanda dragon- picks up a shoe

Bob- FINE!! I don't own the Legend of Zelda. But Amanda owns Owen and Amy

Amanda dragon- I couldn't resist typing this conflict between fairies and young girls...

Chapter 13- Poor, poor Link...

"Linky-poo!! Give me a hug!!" Ruto yelled at Link.

"NO!!" Link cried, prodding her away with a stick that he had found.

"Stop playing hard to get my Linky-dinky-pie!!"

"You'll never take me alive!!" he screamed and threw himself into the fast flowing Zora's river and shot down it like a rocket cart with a monkey in it.

"LIIIINK!! THE RIVER IS VERY FAST!!" Navi screamed, zooming up to the confuzzled Amy and Owen.

"HO LIGHT BULB!! IT DOESN'T TAKE A GENIOUS TO WORK OUT THAT!" Tatl shouted at Navi.

"COME BACK LINK!!" Tael yelled at the now long gone Link.

"He's gone you pathetic excuse for a blinking light bulb!" Navi shouted. With that, the fairies began quarrelling with each other.

Back to the hero that is zooming down the river at mach 2...

Link screamed like a pansy (a/n If pansies scream of course) as he swallowed up half of the river. The river spat him out, back onto Hyrule field. Link gratefully sucked up the air. He looked around to see if Ruto had ambushed him. There was no one around him... until he saw three flashing lights flying towards him. Link gasped in horror and ran. He ran until he crashed into a lady, a lady with red hair... MALON!!! (DUN DUN DUN!!)

"Oh! Linky-darling! I have not seen you in ages!!" The ranch girl cried, giving Link a hug that squeezed the life out of him.

"Ho! Get your hands offa _my _man!!" A girl in a green dress/skirt thing. Link's eyes went wide with horror as he recognised the fiend walking up to him. SALIA !!!(a/n I usually call her Saria -- It sounds better...)

"_Your man?_ HE'S MINE SO GET LOST!!" Malon screamed, hugging Link like a boa constrictor with its prey.

"AWAY FROM LINKY-PIE-DEAR!!" The furious Ruto screamed. The three girls confronted each other (with Malon still holding Link in a death grip).

Back to the evil sinister gerudo dude...

Gannondorf was watching with glee from a tree (it rhymed!!). He snickered evilly as he saw Link's face go blue from lack of oxygen. Just then he had a brilliant evil plan. A plan so evil, that the devil would be ashamed that it did not think of it first. He boomed out an evil laugh, totally unaware that someone may notice him in the tree.

To the confuzzled Amy and Owen...

"Why don't we find someone so we can, like, go somewhere..." Amy mumbled.

"Dunno." Owen said while adjusting his sun glasses so that the sun won't get into his eyes.

"We are, like, standing here like sausages, baking in the sun..."

"Dunno." Owen said, just for the fun of it, while setting his umbrella up.

"I didn't ask a question you nitwit!"

"Dunno."

"Stop tormenting me with riddles!"

"Dunno."

"SHUT UP!!" Amy screamed that loud that Owen's umbrella blew away again and fell into Zora's River.

"NO!! My poor umbrella... You were so young..." Owen whimpered. "I SHALL SAVE YOU!!" he yelled while flinging himself into the river.

Amy sweat dropped, and walked down the path that no one had seemed to notice; until she saw the cuckoo (a/n is that how you spell it?). It was standing there, cleaning its feathers. Amy's eyes opened wider with anticipation as she crept towards it. She bent down and leapt and grabbed the poor cuckoo. The cuckoo struggled madly in her arms as she hugged it. "My wittle baby chicky-wicky! I shall name you... TOM TOM!!" She said. That poor, poor cuckoo...

To the unfortunate hero...

Link sighed as the girls and the fairies all argued with each other.

"He's my boyfriend!! Not yours fish face!!" Salia screamed.

"But out of it little girl!!"

"I am no little girl!!" Salia screeched.

"Shut up you tree hugger and you minger!" Malon yelled.

They both froze, confuzzled about Malon's choice of words.

"HO!! I HAVE FOUND A WAY TO SETTLE THIS!! US FAIRIES AGAINST EACH OF YOU IN A" Navi butted in, dramatically pausing to raise the atmosphere. "A GAME OF TUG-OF WAR!! WITH LINK AS THE ROPE!!"

Poor, poor Link...

Amanda dragon- Like it? Love it? I had to put it in!! A tug of war game with Link as the rope was irresistible to me!! Please read and review!! I will probably do a Halloween special or something...


	14. Umbrellas of Destruction

Amanda dragon- It's Halloween over here so I might as well stick in a few Poes! I am bribing my mum to let me go out trick or treating and she says that I am much too old for that... I am going but I will feel stupid... my tiny little sister as a witch and tall me as scream will look odd... but I still get the sweeties!! Anything for the sweeties!!

Chapter 14- Umbrellas of Destruction

Navi, Tatl and Tael were flying around in circles, getting ready for the tug of war competition. Ruto, Malon and Saria (Salia or Saria. I don't know which one it is!) were arguing and slapping each other. Link was praying to the Goddesses behind a tree. Owen was the referee and Amy was the commentator. Now that everything was set, Link gloomily plodded to the arena. He lay flat on the ground and hoped that he would still live to tell the tale and save Hyrule.

"Mrnff eff mphle fairies mrnfle nmpff!!" Amy commentated, holding the makeshift wooden microphone too close to her mouth, which made everything all muffled.

Ruto grabbed one of Link's legs, Saria grabbed his other, Malon grabbed his arm and the fairies... grabbed? Link's other arm.

"Wait!! We have a few last minute entries!" Amy cried, Owen having snapped her microphone in two. The bald man and... horror of all horrors, Tingle!! They strutted up to Link, but found that there was only one ungrabbed place... Link's head! Chuckling evilly, they grabbed Link's ears. Link was on the verge of tears.

"Referee!! Start off the match!!" Amy yelled. No reply. "OWEN!!" Still no reply. "OWEN YOU FAT PIDGEON!! GET UP OR I AM REMOVING YOU FROM YOUR JOB!!" Amy roared. Owen heaved himself out of his deckchair and glumly closed the rescued umbrella. He sighed and plodded over to the whimpering Link.

"Stay there and don't come anywhere near me. I don't want Link's guts all over my wonderful body. No rude words." Owen groaned before reopening the umbrella and sitting under it.

Suddenly, the match started and Link was tugged with the force of two horses running in opposite directions. The fairies were all... pulling? Link as hard as they could, which wasn't very hard. Suddenly a bunch of umbrellas fell from the sky and crushed them all.

The Gerudo dude sitting in a tree...

Gannondorf roared with laughter as his evil plan came into action. He was enjoying every second of Link's pain. He looked behind him to see his army of poes floating behind him. He was about to give the order to charge until an oblivious Goron came and sat in front of him. Gannondorf was angered. Owen on the other hand, was oblivious to the fact that an evil sorcerer and his army were standing behind him.

"Ho! Goron! Do you know what you are doing to my incredible plans? You are ruining them! Yes! With your extreme stupidity you have foiled my evil plan of sending all these Poes to rip link apart!" Gannondorf roared.

Owen paid no attention and dismissed Gannondorf as a shoe for some strange reason.

"You imbecile! Move or I shall kill thee with my wrath!!"

"You've got quite a good view here..." Owen snorted, watching the competition.

Later that night...

"GORON!! SHIFT!! A man of my power shouldn't have to walk around you!!" Gannondorf screamed.

"Whatever... DID YOU SEE THAT!!? FOUL!! FOUL!! FOUL!! FOUL!! FOUL!! FOUL!! FOUL!! FOUL!! FOUL!! FOUL!!" Owen yelled while watching Ruto going sailing through the air and closing up Owen's umbrella. "UMBRELLA ABUSE!!" Owen shouted. The umbrella rolled down the hill. Uh... Oh...

"Well done!! You have just ruined my plan!! I can't march in while that poor innocent umbrella is there!! I am not evil enough to kill an umbrella!! Somebody get it out of there!!" Gannondorf cried.

The umbrella rolled down the hill. It very slowly rolled over to Tingle. It lightly tapped Tingle and he went flying across the horizon. The bald man ran off in terror, leaving the fairies, Salia and Malon to battle it out. The reason why they were doing this tug of war thing is beyond reasoning. The umbrella rolled over to the fairies and lightly touched them on its way past. All three fairies were knocked into the distance. Malon's eyes rivalled those of dinner plates as the umbrella wobbled towards her. It knocked her leg ever so lightly and she went-a flying! Saria saved the umbrella from doing the job and walked off, dropping Link on the floor.

"CHARGE!!" Gannondorf roared. The big bunch of Poes zoomed forewords into the arena, pretending that they had wrecked havoc instead of a lone umbrella. Owen didn't say anything because he was sleeping... aww...

Gannondorf summoned all his minions in an attempt to rule the world. Redeads moaned, moblins danced, Poes went trick or treating!! It was havoc I tell you!! HAVOC!!

Unknown to Gannondorf, a hero dressed in green, a zora and an umbrella were secretly going into hiding under bushes...

Amanda- How did ya like it? It may be a bit short but that is all that I could think of. My other story has now got the most reviews o.o it's got half the amount of chapters as well... scary huh? Anyways, please review!


	15. Master Swords and Broken Bridges

Amanda- Sorry it took so long!! My left arm went out of business because of the eval jab… I didn't get a lollypop! Life can be cruel… I am able to type now!! YAY!! Thank you for all your reviews!! I was going to take them to earth, but, I couldn't really be bothered. Anyways, enjoy reading!

Chapter 15- Master Swords and Broken Bridges

Link, Amy and the umbrella were crawling under a bush. Gannondorf was gloating over the destruction he, no the umbrella, had created. There was a rustling noise coming from a bush.

"Rustle, rustle!" Went the bush. Gannondorf's eyes narrowed as he strutted over to the bush. He drew his long sword and stabbed the bush. It was empty. He grunted and started evilly laughing again.

Meanwhile, the trio were ducking and diving through the undergrowth, trying to get to hyrule market. Owen, on the other hand, was peacefully sleeping and was oblivious to the fact that the king of Thieves was destroying the world.

Amy, Link and the umbrella were sneaking into Hyrule Marketplace. They sneaked over the drawbridge and into the market. There were zombies everywhere! They were chasing after all the people and moaning and doing evil stuff! Link, Amy and the umbrella sneaked into hyrule temple.

"I'm not supposed to be here." Link said.

"Why? It's safe! Plus there are no zombies!" Amy said.

"I haven't got the three spiritual stones yet."

"Why do you need them?"

"To get through that door" link said, pointing to a big closed door with a triforce on it.

"Why do you need to get through the door so I can get a big sword that'll kill stuff!"

"How do we get in?"

Meanwhile, Owen woke up and rubbed his eyes, only to be greeted by the ugly mug of a Poe looming over him. Luckily, Gannondorf didn't have his glasses on and was unable to see a goron run past him into a nearby hedge. Unfortunately, the hedge wasn't much of a hedge. It was more of a leaf. Owen grabbed the leaf and stuck it on his head, thinking he was invisible. Gannondorf towered over him and growled. There was a big evil grin in his face that spread from ear to ear. He bent down and picked up the leaf.

"Wow! An elven leaf!! There are only like three of these left in the world!! This is a keeper!" He yelled while stuffing the leaf in his pocket. Owen immediately felt pity for the leaf. He was about to decapitate Gannondorf with a stick until a bright light hovered in front of his face.

"OWEN!! OWEN!! WHERE DID LINK GO!!?" It screamed. Luckily, Owen had ear muffs on, so his brain didn't turn into a pile of mush. He then had a think to himself. _If link wanted to get the master sword, he would go to Hyrule temple. The master sword can destroy evil monsters so that means that he would go to DEATH MOUNTAIN! _Proud of his smartness (cough cough!) He strutted over to the small bridge which was falling apart and didn't look like it could hold the weight of a goron.

His mind was clouded with pride so he stepped on the bridge, it groaned and squeaked, in other words, telling him to get lost and go across some other bridge. He stupidly jumped like a rabbity and broke the bridge in half. He fell in the river and was swept along wit the current, to Zora's river.

Back at Hyrule temple…

Link was furiously picking at the lock of the door of time. He had pulled various household implements out of his tunic, like spoons, forks and can openers. Obviously, none of these worked.

Amy was sitting in the pedestal thing, reading a book. Link groaned in defeat and slumped to the floor. He then roared like wild bull and pounded the door. Its cold texture told him that it wouldn't budge.

"Can I have a go?" Amy asked.

"Oh. Is it likely that a little zora girl would be able to open a big solid stone door, when a magnificent hero of time couldn't?" Link taunted.

"Well… no… But I am having a go anyway!" She yelled and ran to the door. She then stared at it. She kept staring.

"Oh my! Like you are going to open…the…door by… staring at it?" Link's teasing soon turned to crying as the door opened. He gave Amy a death glare as he slunk over to the door and looked inside. The master sword wasn't in the pedestal! (Thunder clashes!!)

"WHAT!!?" Link roared.

"Oh! Hello dears!" Someone behind them called. Link turned to face the person, his face bright red with anger.

"Oh! Are you looking for the master sword?" The lady said, while sweeping the floor with a broom.

"Yes…" link growled.

"I chucked that piece of junk out ages ago. It cluttered up the room."

Link's face turned red, then purple then green, then blue and then back to red. "Where exactly did you chuck it out?" He snarled.

"I gave it to a bin man about an hour ago. I think the bin man was called gannonprok or something." She said. Link suddenly exploded in anger and chucked things around, including the lady.

"HOW CAN I GET THE MASTER SWORD NOW?!!"

Amanda- yay! Finished at last! Joy! Hurrah! Well, please read and review! I shall try not to leave a big month's gap between chapters again!


	16. Owls are Evil!

Amanda- YIPEE!! I have finally found the strength to come to the computer and update!! I got lots of notepads and drawing books!! And a big cuddly monkey called Kenny! I am still in the Christmas mood so I shall write a slightly Christmassy chapter! It's also my birthday on the 5th of January!! More notepads!!

**VERY IMPORTANT NOTE TO LEXIAL 147- **UPDATE YOUR STORIES!!!!!! IF YOU DO NOT UPDATE YOUR STORIES I SHALL SMITE YOU WITH A BIG SNOWBALL!! MWAHAHAHAHA!! I know where you live….

Chapter 16- Owls are Evil!

"I WANT MY MASTER SWORD!!!" Link screamed. He had wrecked the temple of time and broke all the ornaments.

"Do you know how long this is going to take to clean up?" The cleaning lady snapped. Link just burst into tears and cried like a two year old.

To the evil Gerudo dude…

"Now that I have the master sword I can rule the world!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!" Gannondorf laughed. He picked up the master sword. "IT BUUUURNS!!!! IT BURNS!!!" He screamed with steam coming out of his hand. He noticed a nearby Poe walk by. "YOU!! WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT PUTTING THE MASTER SWORD IN THE OVEN!!?"

The Poe just nodded, thinking that his master had gone mentally insane.

Back to the poor hero with out a weapon…

"I AM NOT WEAPONLESS YOU STUPID NARRATOR!! I have a hookshot, a megaton hammer, arrows, bombs, bombchus, magic beans, bottles and my pet fish called Tomtom!"

"All of those sound much better than a measly old master sword…." Amy groaned.

For no apparent reason, Link began to laugh his tights off.

"He's lost it." The lady stated.

"No! The master sword can drive people insane who are not supposed to have it!!!" Link yelled.

"You mean someone like you?" Amy asked. Milliseconds later, she was unconscious and put in a bin bag.

To our lost Goron…

Owen was lying on the bank of Zora's River, under the umbrella and stuffing himself with popcorn. Suddenly a black shape swooped down on him.

"Hoot hoot! Lost? Are you lost? Hoot hoot! Gorons aren't supposed to be here! Hoot! Hoo!" A giant man eating owl hooted.

"AARGH!! THE WORLD IS COMING TO its END!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!" Owen screamed while running around like a headless chicken.

"Hoot hoot! Don't be silly poor boy! The world won't explode! Hoot hoot! Don't think such nonsense! It will explode soon if Gannondorf gets a hold of the master sword and touches it! Hoot hoot! Link is far too smart to let that happen! Hoot! Hot! Don't worry boy! Nothing like that can ever happen! Hoot hoot! Do you want me to repeat everything I have just said?" The owl hooted.

"yessss…." Owen said, asleep and dreaming of a big cookie offering him a cookie fountain (yum!).

"Very well then! Hoot hoot! Don't be silly poor boy! The world won't explode! Hoot hoot! Don't think such nonsense! It will explode soon if Gannondorf gets a hold of the master sword and touches it! Hoot hoot! Link is far too smart to let that happen! Hoot! Hot! Don't worry boy! Nothing like that can ever happen! Hoot hoot! Do you want me to repeat everything I have just said?"

"Yes!" Owen said when the giant cookie was offering him a life size skyscraper made of cookies!

To the hero and the zora…

"How long have we been walking? My feet hurt! I'm tired! I'm hungry! I want a cookie!" Amy moaned. Link had decided to consult the deku tree to see what he should do.

They were marching through kokiri Village (is that what it's called?). Pushing any unfortunate Kokiri person who got in the way, Amy and Link stopped in front of the deku tree and……… laughed their heads off.

The Deku tree was decorated with pretty Christmassy lights and had lots of presents in front of him, enough to keep the whole world unwrapping presents for a year!

Link done the most honourable to the Deku tree he could ever do.

"WHY AREN'T YOU DEAD!!!? I SAW YOU DIE YOU… YOU… TWIG!!" Link screamed. The deku tree wasn't happy with this and made link's nightmare come true.

Amy heard a faint buzzing noise. Lot's of giggles were heard too. There was a bright light above the deku tree's…. head? Amy soon saw that it was lots of millions of annoying squeaky voiced fairies swarming over link like a tidal wave of doom.

"NO!!! HAVE MERCY!! Plea…se…." link's voice faded away.

Back to poor Owen…

"Hoot hoot! Don't be silly poor boy! The world won't explode! Hoot hoot! Don't think such nonsense! It will explode soon if Gannondorf gets a hold of the master sword and touches it! Hoot hoot! Link is far too smart to let that happen! Hoot! Hot! Don't worry boy! Nothing like that can ever happen! Hoot hoot! Do you want me to repeat everything I have just said?"

"NO!!! NO YOU STUPID OWL!! I SAID NO!!!!" Owen screamed.

"Very well then…" The owl said. Owen enjoyed the blissful silence until…. "Hoot hoot! Don't be silly poor boy! The world won't explode! Hoot hoot! Don't think such nonsense! It will explode soon if Gannondorf gets a hold of the master sword and touches it! Hoot hoot! Link is far too smart to let that happen! Hoot! Hot! Don't worry boy! Nothing like that can ever happen! Hoot hoot! Do you want me to repeat everything I have just said?"

"ARGH!!!!" Owen screamed in anger. In his rage he stomped over to the owl and began to pluck it. The owl was pretty much oblivious to the fact that it was plucked like a turkey and said…… "Hoot hoot! Don't be silly poor boy! The world won't explode! Hoot hoot! Don't think such nonsense! It will explode soon if Gannondorf gets a hold of the master sword and touches it! Hoot hoot! Link is far too smart to let that happen! Hoot! Hot! Don't worry boy! Nothing like that can ever happen! Hoot hoot! Do you want me to repeat everything I have just said?"

"If you say that just one more time…" Owen growled at the featherless owl.

"I take that as a yes…" the owl hooted.

Amanda- NO MORE!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY LONGER!!! HAVE MERCY EVIL OWL!! I'M MELTING!!

I hope everyone had a merry merry Christmas!!


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